I start on the road to fulfilling my Olympic dream

By Jove, I think I have found an Olympic event I could be good at.

Obviously you are thinking trampoline or three-metre diving but no – it has to be the Keirin.

It was last night’s exciting final race that sparked my interest. Did you see it?

Two false starts and then a perfect race. Exhilarating stuff. Full of tension and drama.

Yep, that’s the one for me. In fact, I have already started searching for a moped on Ebay and then my Derny driving ambitions can be fulfilled.

Watch out, Tokyo. I’m on my way.

Incidently, have you noticed that since we decided to leave the European Union, we have become very good at nearly all the Olympic sports? Just asking.