Time for the circus to move on
May 2007. It should have been a routine month for the Algarve Resident, a weekly English-language newspaper.
I’d retired in the autumn of 2006 from my publisher role with a regional newspaper company in the UK (yep, it is really nine years since I found the escape tunnel) and started work from my home office as Publishing Director for southern Portugal publication into which SWMBO and I had invested in 2003.
But it turned out to be anything but a routine month. Now you may not have heard about this before but a little girl called Madeleine McCann disappeared one evening from a holiday apartment in the Algarve while her parents were out for dinner with friends.

As soon as I heard the breaking news on breakfast TV I called the office in Portugal and we instigated an immediate plan – which in a nutshell was to report only the facts, never to give credence to speculation and to play everything to do with the case with a straight bat.
I immediately flew down to the office and we spent a couple of days camped out in Praia de Luz. Oh my, what a circus. Little did any of us know that the main act was to continue for the next nine years.

The circus in action at Praia de Luz in May 2007.

I mention this now as the number of UK police officers investigating the disappearance of Madeleine has been cut from 29 to four says the Met, which has spent more than £10million on trying to find the missing girl.

Madeleine's parents said they "fully understand" the decision and remained "hopeful" their daughter would be found.

Officers have investigated more than 60 persons of interest, the Met said, adding that a total of 650 sex offenders had also been considered as well as reports of 8,685 potential sightings of Madeleine around the world.
Having reviewed all of the documents, "7,154 actions were raised and 560 lines of inquiry identified", the Met said. It said more than 30 requests had been made to "countries across the world asking for work to be undertaken on behalf of the Met".
I have deep sympathy for Gerry and Kate McCann. It’s just not in human nature to give up on one’s child.
But after a nine-year, £10million cabaret featuring soothsayers, clairvoyants, vicious online trolls, massive libel pay outs, endless speculation, alleged police incompetence and more speculation than I can throw a stick at have we not reached the stage where enough is enough?
It’s very definitely time to move on.

Fake reviews and the Wild West of the web

Amazon has finally decided to act in recognition of the fact that its site is riddled with fake reviews.

The company announced on Friday that it is taking legal action against more than 1,000 people it claims provide false favourable reviews on its website.

The online retail giant said in the lawsuit that its brand reputation is being tarnished by "false, misleading and inauthentic" reviews.

Amazon claims the 1,114 defendants offer their false review service for as little as five dollars (£3.25), with most promising 5-star reviews for a seller's products.

Some people may be surprised at this but they shouldn’t be, as businesses that operate in the Wild West that is the web cannot possibly police the zillions of items they are responsible for.

Told you that you can't believe everything you see.

The internet, generally a wonderful aid, is also a technological cesspit, where anyone can say virtually anything. That’s the price we all paid when we signed up to worldwide web all those years ago, screechy modems and all.

There’s very little checking going on. But then again, how do you research whether the sender of a review from an email address like pony456@anymail.com is genuine? In my days as a journo, NOTHING went into print without being thoroughly checked – and then checked again. I’m sad to say that my profession is now more interested in clickbait on its websites and filling those print pages that still remain as quickly and cheaply as possible. Monitor monkeys seem to have replaced trained reporters. 

And what about all those reviews on travel sites like Trip Advisor? How many of them are genuine?

But at the end of the day, does it really matter? Only a fool would believe all the gushing comments. A realist, like wot I am, reads a selection, normally avoiding the five stars (who can EVER say this hotel or that resort was absolutely perfect?) and the one stars (some people will gripe about anything in the hope that a freebie stay will come their way). Hopefully, with fingers crossed and a fair wind, one can build up a reasonably accurate picture.

After all, ever since Britain became a nation of shopkeepers, the mantra has not changed – let the buyer beware.

Getting caught can have painful consequences

In case you have been in isolation for the last couple of days, Karl Andree, 74 and originally from south London, faces a public flogging in Saudi Arabia.

He was arrested in August last year when police found bottles of homemade wine in his car and jailed for 12 months as having any alcohol, even homebrew, is illegal in the highly conservative nation.

His family has now urged the Government to intervene amid fears the punishment of 350 lashes would kill him.

Now David Cameron has cancelled a multi-million pound prisons contract and written to the Saudi Government to protest about plans to flog the pensioner.

I’m no expert in Middle Eastern law or customs but you’d have to be an introverted, non-reading loner not to know what the Saudi authorities are like.

Let me say it clearly – Mr Andree knew exactly what he was doing and knew what the risks were. After all, he has lived in the Middle East for 25 years.

In another lifetime we lived in a more liberal (just) Middle Eastern state – the UAE.

Westerners who held managerial positions, like wot I did, received an alcohol licence which gave you a monthly allowance.

You couldn’t get your booze at the local supermarket – it was sold by, if I remember correctly, two companies, African and Eastern and Gray Mackenzie.

I am sure my reader will put me straight if I am wrong.

The steel-shuttered shops were discreetly located, with just the company name across the door. No window shopping, no window display, no posters to draw you in - no nothing in fact.

If you didn’t have a licence, you weren’t allowed in. Simples. That licence gave you permission to transport your alcohol from the shop to your home, so technically you were not allowed to take a bottle of wine to a friend’s house or a few cans of the amber nectar to the beach.

But people did it anyway. Because we, yes, I was one of them, knew the possible consequences. No lashes in Dubai but you could certainly get a jail term or be deported.

Saudi has never been as open-minded as some of its Gulf neighbours but every Brit who has gone to work there in the last 30 or 40 years KNOWS the rules about alcohol.

And most will have flaunted them. But there is no doubt that his prison sentence is more than enough punishment – and there is also no doubt that the Saudi authorities will eventually back down over the lashes.

After all, their barbarism is designed to keep the masses under check. Very 14^th century, I know, but the country has always been like that. As Mr Andree knows.

* I''ll leave you with the funniest photo to the week:

Football fan, hooligan; rugby fan, gentleman

I got a 24-hour pass from SWMBO last week and had a very enjoyable boys’ away day with both my BIL’s and good friend RC.

We met up at our cheap and cheerful hotel in Milton Keynes late afternoon and after much debate over a beer decided that the fare on offer in the hotel (“sorry, we only do sandwiches and pizza before 6pm”) was not up to our standards.

So, we set off for the route march to Stadium MK, with our tickets for the France v Canada RWC 2015 match safely deposited in my bum bag (why do they call it a bum bag when the item in question is carried at the front?)

And I mean route march. Not that the others felt it was more than a comfortable stroll, passing the time with idle chit-chat as yours truly lagged behind, a huffing and a puffing.

Some days later, well, 30 minutes or so later, we arrived outside the stadium. Ah – plenty of gourmet food on offer to suit our tastes. We all agreed - you can’t beat a good burger with onions and a paper plate of chips. Plus, of course, plenty of ketchup.

It was as we were standing by the burger emporium that I first noticed something odd. There were thousands of people milling around. Vocal French fans, boisterous Canadian supporters, excited neutrals and RWC volunteers handing out French and Canadian flags – but not a single policeman.

I thought then that I’d play Spot the Cop as we walked around the outside of the stadium to get to our entrance on the other side of the ground. I failed miserably.

Now I am sure they were there, in the background, monitoring the CCTV but how refreshing not to see lines of police clad in reflective gear.

Yet it’s so different when attending a football match. For instance, the minute you walk out of the tube station in north London, enroute to The Emirates, you cannot help but notice the police. They are everywhere, and in large numbers.

It is so refreshing to see rival supporters having a chat and even sitting together in the stadium, without a violent intention.

That would never happen at a football ground. I remember some moons ago watching a Charity Shield game at Wembley between by beloved Arsenal and Man. Utd.

I was with some friends, all MU supporters, in the MU end of the ground. Arsenal scored. I cheered internally. Act cool, Trigger.

A fellow Gooner a few rows down, however, leapt to his feet in celebration – and promptly got jumped on by three or four blokes.

Could latest state plans go up in smoke?

No smoking on the beach, no smoking in your car. What next – no smoking in your own house?

Yes, I am a smoker – a professional who is trying to wind down his use of the weed.

From the heady, and wheezy, days of packing away 50 to 60 cigs a day I am now down to less than 10.

Mind you, the nicotine gum, nicotine lozenges and e-cig are just as addictive but probably (slightly) better for me.

We are now near the end of Brighton and Hove City Council’s 12-week public consultation to gauge people's views on banning smoking on the beach. I await the conclusions with bated breath. But I think I can second-guess the end result from this trendy council.

Meanwhile, smoking in the car, if there are also children present, is banned from today in England and Wales and punishable by a £50 on the spot fine.

The law applies even if windows or the sunroof is open, but not in a convertible with the roof down.

I have to say it’s a pretty sound idea, for obvious health benefits. Smokers should easily be able to do a short journey without lighting up and could even pull over (we are always reminded to take a break when driving long distances) for a drag.

But the police have said they do not have the manpower to enforce it.

So, it’ll be like the ban on using mobile phones while driving – it’s against the law but most people won’t be worried.

After all, a law is only as good as the way it is upheld.

That just leaves the major question – when will our beloved government start looking at banning smoking in homes where children are present? It’ll undoubtedly happen – but will be a complete waste of time because it will not, and cannot, be enforced.