Could latest state plans go up in smoke?

No smoking on the beach, no smoking in your car. What next – no smoking in your own house?

Yes, I am a smoker – a professional who is trying to wind down his use of the weed.

From the heady, and wheezy, days of packing away 50 to 60 cigs a day I am now down to less than 10.

Mind you, the nicotine gum, nicotine lozenges and e-cig are just as addictive but probably (slightly) better for me.

We are now near the end of Brighton and Hove City Council’s 12-week public consultation to gauge people's views on banning smoking on the beach. I await the conclusions with bated breath. But I think I can second-guess the end result from this trendy council.

Meanwhile, smoking in the car, if there are also children present, is banned from today in England and Wales and punishable by a £50 on the spot fine.

The law applies even if windows or the sunroof is open, but not in a convertible with the roof down.

I have to say it’s a pretty sound idea, for obvious health benefits. Smokers should easily be able to do a short journey without lighting up and could even pull over (we are always reminded to take a break when driving long distances) for a drag.

But the police have said they do not have the manpower to enforce it.

So, it’ll be like the ban on using mobile phones while driving – it’s against the law but most people won’t be worried.

After all, a law is only as good as the way it is upheld.

That just leaves the major question – when will our beloved government start looking at banning smoking in homes where children are present? It’ll undoubtedly happen – but will be a complete waste of time because it will not, and cannot, be enforced.