Are these people off their trolleys?

Why does being the mother (or father) of a young child make walking so difficult?

Before you scratch your head too much at my intellectual observation, let me explain.

As you, know, I don't get out much but when I do it's invariably to do the weekly shop. This has been one of life's great pleasures for me since I retired from my proper job in deepest East Anglia more than eight years ago.

Part of the retirement package, apart from a pension that barely pays for my cigarettes and brandy, was an agreement with SWMBO that I would shop and clean in between working from my home office for the Algarve publishing company I was a partner in.

What did we all do before phones had cameras?

So, rapping with the locals at various supermarkets in our nearest town has become a real delight. I feel comfortable in a place where my trainers (laces undone, of course), trackie bottoms, Gap top with holes in both elbows and unshaven chin make me the best-dressed and presented man in the place. Nothing can beat fitting in.

The shopping itself is generally stress-free but some of the people who use the mother-and-toddler parking spaces continually wind me up.

My question to them is - why, when you have a baby or toddler, can't you return your shopping trolley to the specially-constructed trolley parks?

How difficult is it to walk, what, 50 metres? Is it an automatic thing that you can have that baby but lose the use of your legs?

I know there are a load of dangerous, child-snatching people out there but I'm sure little Chardonnay or Princess will be safe in their child seat in your locked car for the ten seconds it takes to return the trolley.

That way us mere mortals who park well away from trouble won't come back to their cars and find a trolley rammed into the back of their car because the wind's got up.