We never met but were still good friends

I made my first call to Barbara in May 2015. She was my new, and first, Silverline friend.

The charity Silverline had been set in 2013 by Dame Esther Rantzen as a sort of Childline for wrinklies (my words).

She was prompted to do so after finding herself increasingly lonely following the death of her husband, Desmond Wilcox.

The idea was simple – match up volunteers with elderly people who wanted someone to chat with, on the phone, on a regular basis. SWMBO spotted a TV appeal made by Dame Esther late in 2014 for more volunteers and immediately thought of me.

I applied, went through the online training and was matched with Barbara. Calls were made through a virtual call centre meaning our telephone details were private and we were encouraged to use first names only and never give any personal details away.

After some initial hesitation as we sounded each other out, Barbara and I settled into a good routine, with me calling her the same time and day every week.

This carried on until late October last year, 2020. After not being able to get through a couple weeks running I contacted the Age UK Friendship service, which had taken over the Silverline service in the autumn of 2019.

It transpired that Barbara had died but that her daughter, who I spoke with a couple of times when she was visiting Barbara, had asked if she could send me an Order of Service.

I said that would be wonderful. Early in February I realised I had not heard anything, or received anything in the post, so I rang Age UK Friendship again.

They said nothing had been received but if it had, it would have been forwarded. I felt a little deflated.

Sure, we had never met but Barbara and I had become firm telephone friends, chatting away happily for more than five years.

As it was her daughter who had asked about sending the Order of Service to me via Age UK she must have changed her mind. Or it had been forwarded to Age UK but misplaced?

Sadly, I’ll never know.