Time to batten down the hatches

Weather Update - bit of snow falls on Suffolk. Chaos ensues

It’s lucky that, as a rule, I don’t get out much as I probably wouldn’t be able to drive out of the village today.
We’ve had snow and that probably means we’re cut off from the civilised world, and Thetford.
The local hospital A&E is undoubtedly packed with people who have slipped and stumbled in their heels or no-tread-on-sole fashion trainers on the 1cm of the white stuff that has fallen overnight. Wear suitable footwear? Moi?
Schools are undoubtedly closed as Health and Safety dictates that no child must be subjected to such inhumane treatment as getting cold and wet. God forbid they should get a hurty cheek from a game of what used to be popular in the olden days – a snowball fight!
And scores of local employers will have endured “I can’t get into work today ‘cos of snow drifts” phone calls. After all, there are some people out there who have still to finish watching their Sopranos box set.
Goodness only knows what will happen if we get proper snowfall.
Right, I’m off to walk to the village shop to stock up on a few essential items – cigarettes, brandy, scratch cards, that sort of thing. I may be stuck at home for hours. Now, where’s that box set?