You're old when a bed costs same as your first house

I don’t usually take much notice of the marketing material that falls out of the daily paper.

This could be viewed as a terrible admission from someone who in a previous life as an editor encouraged inserts because of the revenue they earned our newspaper group.

Now I find them slightly annoying and often provocative. Do I REALLY need that side-panel bath for ease of access (answers on a postcard please)?

But one recent glossy insert caught my attention. It was a 20-page brochure for a furniture firm.

As I flicked through, my eyes settled on a bed. I have to admit that as beds go it was OK. And, most pleasing, the cost had been reduced. From £16,170 to £14,500. Yes, that’s right- a bed for £14,500.

You realise you’re getting old and wrinkly when a bed costs the same as your first marital home. That’s how much we paid for a lovely little three-bedroomed detached house in the middle of commuter-belt Bishop’s Stortford 40 years ago.

My rant earlier this month about PETA and the village called Wool got a response from my reader.

“I entirely agree,” he said. “Every time I put my sprouts into boiling water I ask myself ‘How can I do this to living vegetables? When I could be cooking meat that is long dead.’”

Controversial but at least someone reads my work. Thank you.