We have gone over to the dark side

You may remember that at the back end of last year I had much fun with my bank and its app for the various Apple products I possessed.

In a nutshell I got a message telling me I have to update the app but whenever I tried to I was informed that my iPad and iPhone operating systems no longer supported the new app.

And as my phone and tablet were quite old, the operating systems could not be updated.

What a magic money-making wheeze that is – make older phones and tabs obsolete within a few years so punters have to regularly upgrade them.

As my bank was not prepared to buy me replacements I was resigned to losing this very useful tool.

Anyway, the situation, you will be pleased to know, has now been resolved. But not in a way I initially thought.

A few weeks after the Apple/ banking app situation, SWMBO’s iPhone died. Dodo doesn’t do it justice.

No problem, I thought. I’ll dig into our pension pot and buy a new iPhone. Err, no. A replacement was going to cost between £600 and £1,000, depending on which gismos and gadgets I wanted.

Which was when I made the momentous decision to take us both over to the other side.

Yes, we have abandoned Apple and moved to Android.

I decided we might as well both switch as my iPhone was also getting on a bit. It also meant we could continue to share contacts and calendars etc.

To cut a long story short I purchased two new sim-free Android phones, a couple of phone cases and some screen protectors for the grand total of £186.

I am pleased to say my banking app works on the new phone, so normal service is resumed.

Clearly these phones have a limited life as well and will need to be replaced at some time in the future but at least the financial pain will be reduced.

No squash but breakdancing in line for Olympics

I love the summer Olympics. Obviously the main sports are great – athletics, swimming etc. – but what makes the Games special are the less popular sports.

At the risk of offending my reader, I refer to activities such as archery and weightlifting.

When else would one sit on the settee, watching such sports?

Now I hear that breakdancing could be included in the Paris 2024 Olympic Games.

Squash campaigned unsuccessfully for inclusion, as did billiards and chess.

I have a suggestion for the International Olympic Committee. If I am listened to we, Team GB, would have a fighting chance of Gold.

Yes, IOC, it’s time to introduce competitive Morris Dancing. You heard it here first.

Should neutrality be a part of gender?

I’m confused. Nothing new there, then.

The era of gender choice, and any other choice for that matter, is now embedded into our lives.

Relaxing in bed this morning, having an extra few minutes of snoozing before I simply HAD to get up, I was shaken out of my slumber by a female voice declaring “I am identifying as an Elf”.

Before family and friends call concerned about the welfare of SWMBO I need to point out that the person uttering those words was American Kimberel Eventide, who refers to herself as an Elven, also known as an Otherkin, a person who “feels more like an elf than human at times.”

She was being interviewed on GMB and explained that being an Elven is “about a way of life and being connected to animals always”.

Kimberel, who wears prosthetic ears, told Piers Morgan and Susanna Reid: “It’s not about the ears, it’s who you are on the inside and how you carry yourself. But ears do make it fun.”

Sorry, Kimberel, but did you find some funny tasting mushrooms in the woods of Middle Earth?

And then there are the children as young as nine who can chose to identify as a boy or girl or even declare themselves to be gender neutral with the full backing of parents.

Which leaves me in something of a quandary. If a nine-year old is mature enough to understand the choice they are making about their gender how is that Shamina Begum, the ISIS girl, did not know what she was doing when she went to Syria aged 15 with two friends?

Just asking.