I’m a real sporty type; no, honestly

I may not have won much on the sporting front but I do consider myself to be a sporty fellow. Just look at the trainers and jogging bottoms I wear all the time.

Although my trophy haul is pretty pathetic, no-one can say I wasn’t keen.

I was a member of the team that finished as Bishop’s Stortford, Stansted and District Football League, Division 3, Cup runners-up in the 1973/74 season – the mighty Heath Rovers.

My second trophy came in 1982, when I was a member of the all-conquering Admin. Allsports darts team, winners of the Dubai Aluminium Company Darts League.

The third was probably my finest football achievement – as a member of the Admin. Allsports football team that finished runner-up in the 1983 Admin. Welly Cup Final. Yeah, I know – pretty amazeballs, really.

There followed a short, barren spell, of just 15 years, until I snared my next trophy – the inaugural, and never played again, Saffron Walden Breakfast Club Golf Tournament in 1998. I’m welling up at the memories.

My last major (?) sporting tournament victory to date was in 2005, when I was victorious in the Almond Golf Day.

I should point out at this juncture that there was more than one Almond taking part and the annual event (from 1996 to 2010) included members of the extended family. You didn’t have to be called Almond but it helped.

My previous Almond Golf Day success was in 1996 and it remains a mystery to this day why I did not win more. After all, it was my idea and I was one of the two scorers.

But that’s enough about my sporting prowess. Nowadays, although some would say alladays, my sporting activities are limited to spectating. I may not run around much but I do know the offside rules.

Which brings me to the point (yes, there is one) of this communiqué.

My Rugby World Cup 2015 tickets have arrived. I’m so excited.

This means I have another event I can tick off my sporting attendance wish list. I watched Bishop’s Stortford win the FA Amateur Cup Final at the “old” Wembley in 1974; I was there when Arsenal lost to Chelsea in the Carling Cup Final at the Millennium Stadium, Cardiff in 2007; I saw all five England games plus the final between Germany and the Czech Republic at Euro’96; I tried to act cool at the Africa Cup of Nations tie in The Gambia in 1979; I watched in amazement at the Olympic gymnastics at the O2 and the football at the “new” Wembley in 2012;  I cheered on James Hunt at the British Grand Prix at Brands Hatch in 1976; saw England beat South Africa at Twickenham in the early noughties; cheered on with the Sunderland fans at the FA Cup Final in 1973 and watched many, many England games, including World Cup qualifiers at Wembley between 1974 and 2001 (and one friendly in the Algarve in 2004!)

I have enjoyed them all. And I thought I didn’t get out much.