The care home Easy Rider

Mil and Fil, who had the distinction of a first mention in IDGOM yesterday, live in a nice residential care home.

Although the fees are slowly strangling their rapidly dwindling assets, it’s the right place for them to live, providing comfort and care for them and peace of mind for the family.

When Mil told us she could no longer cope with looking after the two of them in their small Essex cottage, She Who Must Be Obeyed and I visited around a dozen homes in specific areas – near to them, near to us or near to my sister-in-law.

When we’d whittled the shortlist down to four, Mil and Fil did two to four week trials at each place before choosing the winner, where they have now lived for almost three and a half years.

But it could have been oh so different. One of the places we visited during the investigation stage, which we thought seemed very nice but Mil and Fil dismissed, was later to become the subject of a BBC Panorama programme on abuse by staff in care homes.

The lesson is clear – if you find yourselves having to consider residential care, do the leg work and then involve your loved one/ ones in the decision-making process.

They may be old but they’re still on the ball.

Always respect care home residents – looks can be very deceiving and while the body may be slowing down, the mind stays focussed for longer than most of us think.

Take John (name changed to protect his family) – he is physically challenged now but gets around the care home on his motorised wheelchair.

He’s crashed two or three times now and has even received a warning from the staff about taking care, especially cornering.

If only they knew that the clear liquid in the glass in the cup-holder on John’s wheelchair armrest wasn’t water.