I feel strangely alienated

I like Fridays. It’s food shopping day, which gives me a chance to mingle down at the supermarket with the populace of my local town.

I like Tesco. But I also like Aldi. That’s beginning to sound like a TV advertisement so I should add that Lidl isn’t bad either.

I started using the local Aldi in 2006, soon after it opened. Those were exciting times, selecting the fruit and veg while listening to an array of foreign languages, mainly Portuguese, Polish and Lithuanian.

The car park was full of foreign-registered cars and I felt quite special in my UK-plated motor.

Oh how the times have changed. Aldi now has mother and toddler parking spaces (more about those in an upcoming rant), wines that cost more than £3.50, filet steak and more English-speaking customers than you can shake a stick at.

The car park is reminiscent of a private school driveway at kicking out time – Audis, Mercs, four-wheel drives of varying shades and sizes and personalised number plates.

It’s just not the same anymore. My sartorial elegance used to blend in nicely with the other loose-fitting fleeces, jogging bottoms and trainers with the laces fashionably untied. Now I feel strangely alienated.

I really don’t want to start having to dress smartly to go shopping. That just won’t do.